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Quote of the Week




Q) What do AGB bassists use for birth control?
A) Their personalities ...

I sure hope this one didn't double post, one thing worse than a lame joke is repeating a lame joke ...
omg... IT DID ... so lame indeed. Many apologies.

Neil N
Seen a good QOTW? Use the contact page to send it in!
Don't forget to mention which thread it's in.

Quotes From Weeks Gone By...!
"Because practicing the wrong thing means you end up DOING the wrong thing perfectly!"

~ JoeSpareBedroom
"Bass players are the fat dorky guys who make everyone else look like they know what they're doing."

John Shaughnessy
In response to this post by Jay S:

"If we have a "quote of the month" maybe we should have a "troll of the month""

Chris Berry responded with:

"At the end of the day though it's about as useful as a worm hanging out of a cat's backside."
"I just got a set of gut strings for my upright and it totally rocks now. Many sheep had to die to get my upright to sound good, and in honor of them, I feel I should play their dried and twisted intestines more often."

Boom
"G.A.S. = Gear Acquisition Syndrome
The remedy, of course, is to:
F.A.R.T. = Find A Real Treasure"

Lane Baldwin
" I have two basses that are conservatives, two liberals, two are independents, and one that's actually a communist. Fortunately they're not allowed to vote as they're all convicted felons."

Boom
In response to the question "How does your band introduce you?"

"I was never able to hear what they called me. I was too busy slapping whackata popping tapping for my 5 seconds solo."

Henry
In response to the question "Who is the best bassist of all time?"

"I'm not one to pat myself on the back, usually.....But recently, as I was doling out weekly allowances, I heard a small voice from the back of the crowd announce "Daddy you're the best bass player in the whole world"."

Hawkeye
"I can hardly wait for the media frenzy that will ensue when the worlds finest luthiers
gather together in an effort to separate them so that they can live a normal life."

Middle C
"The act of putting on new strings makes you wiser, more talented,improves your stamina, and makes you more attractive to the opposite sex.

Lynrd
"whenever i play with other people its such a wake up call - when your playing with yourself, if you make a mistake, you just go back and do it again, if you jamming with someone, especially a drummer, you can't go back, the beat's constantly moving and you gotta catch up!"

Kristoff Lajoie
In Response to a request for the bass line to Springsteen's "Pink Cadillac"

"Sorry, I only know the White Stripes version....."

Justice

"Besides, even if I'm not the coolest person in the room, I'm still the bass player."

Edward G.  

"My personal goal is to have a bass cab that is an eight-inch cube, weighs two pounds, and can put out 145 dB from 15 Hz to 15,000 Hz. I calculate that this will require 18 inches of cone excursion and 475,000 Watts of power, so I do have some technical issues to iron out."

Brian Running

"Don't worry, you can't really say that any bass priced at $10,000 was a good deal...well, maybe if it was made of solid gold and was actually worth a million bucks or something..."

Kristoff Lajoie
"That's why at the end of my days, if someone should say "That boy could groove; we're gonna miss him", I'll head to the hereafter with a smile on my face.

Just groove. Grooving is its own reward."

Edward G.
"Just remember, as long as you try your best to give every audience, big or small, a great show, the clubowner will still find a way to underpay you."

Edward G.
"Don't sweat it McD. The world is full of music store heroes like that who can slap the frets off, but wouldn't know a pocket if it was flourescent green, 20 feet tall and running down the street screaming "Feel Me, Feel Me!!"

Ed Wood
"Yeah, I blame it on the drummer, too, though I never said anything to him."

Ryan Smith
"The difficulty with morons is that they are not convinced they're morons.

Generally, stupid people don't think they're stupid, and smart people don't think they're that smart."

Beelzebubba
"How many times have you heard some guy from a metal band say " we don't consider ourselves metal, we're just a hard rocking band." ?

How many times have you heard some dipshit from a flavor-of-the-week band say " Our style of music is really hard to categorize because we don't fall in to any one genre", then you hear their music and it sounds just like everything else on the radio at the time ?

How many times have you listened to a bunch of Jazz weenies arguing that "Smooth Jazz" really isn't Jazz.

Good luck trying to categorize stuff, even the bands can't agree what category they fall in."

Handgunner
"I don't want to be the one guy who tells the other inmates he was arrested for dancing, nor do I wan't to be the bassist fined for assault with a groove. With intent to incite rump-shakin'. Trafficing in illegal rythms?"

-rob
--
    O< "and yes... he's sober again"
/(\)
   ^^
"UUUahahha UUa aHAuahhhUUUU UUUUuuUUuuuUUuu eeeek UUUU

Cheers
hEiNz"
"By the way, has anyone heard that the former bassist for The Meters just joined a funk band?"

McD5575971
"An excellent trumpet tone sounds good to the ears.
An excellent bass tone sounds good to the soul."

mslatter@yahoo.com
If asked "why bass?" I'd have to say: drums may get yer foot tapping,
but bass puts the grind in your behind. :)

Tom Comber
"War is bad, but sometime necessary.
Dope is good for some, but bad for others.
asshole-ism is one sided fun.
We all love the bass."

Radapaw
"Anyway, I'm not allowed to have one of those. I'm allowed to have 'a small dog or fish but preferably a double bass'"

PLL'C
"Now raise your plucking hand, and repeat after me:"

"I (state your name), being of sound tones, do solemly swear that I will never argue the pro/cons of carbon necks, and I will ignore all bait and or govermental/religious arguments. I further realize, trolls cannot be responded to, and without bass, life is without foundation."

Rob

    O< "This space for rent!"
/(\)
  ^^
"But, the basic message is, try on out i spose, and see for yourself if you think its a problem or now, cos i certainly havn't! hope that helped!"

Kristoff Lajoie
"Pardon me while I puke on your headstock."

Bud LeCompte
Muttered to the drummer whilst having to play along to a 40 bpm number for the Children's Christmas Program at his regular annual church gig...

"Wake me up when you get to four..."

Cleopatra Schwartz
a.k.a. Lynrd
Touching Moments...

"Had a brand new, pretty nice experience. A gaggle of women were out having a good time..I knew some of them slightly. They told me one of the group couldn't hear the band at all. She's been deaf since birth. She was dancing and partying, and having a good time. She just watched everyone else dance and imitated. Well, I got her up to the stage between songs, and had her touch and lean against my cabs. Her eyes lit up..she had never experienced that, and "got" the music. Well, I was a small hero with her crowd and husband, and she was really happy. I felt pretty good about it, too. I didn't realize what a big deal it would be for her. ya just never know when something new will come along."

TDodge
"If my sound ain't right at the beginning of the tune, it's gonna be that way til the end."

Tom Comber
"Ive played in a few weird places, but I ain't never played in a young dog before!!!!"

marc & co.
"I'm doing the three finger gallop but it's giving me the two finger salute..."

Christopher Berry
"The artistic integrity crowd couldn't write a catchy hook if their lives depended on it"

Brian Running
"We should keep an archive of quote of the weeks. No?"

Steve eh?
"It's not often that you come up with the right remark at the right time.... So there I was lurking at the Jazz pub this lunchtime, quaffing ale and enjoying some hot stuff from the Nigel Price trio (Gtr, Hammond, drums...no bass but a great left hand from the Hammond) when a local trumpet player asked me to play bass in the pit at the local theatre for a show and quoted crap money for 5 nights. I replied that I don't do that stuff any more, just jazz. "It's a good show, Sweeney Todd the demon barber" quoth he. "I'd rather cut my own throat thanks" I came back, quick as a flash. Hilarity all round but I suppose you had to be there."

Clive
"whether you are an old retired gentleman or the greatest rock bassist on earth. Be nice to each other everyone, life isn't a rehearsal."

D.G. Devin
In memory of John Entwistle
"Well, one man's jazz is another man's goofy speed-metal-funk"

MFD
"However, if you built a pickup with a superconducting magnet and a huge coil, you might be able to get a measurable signal out of it if you used a string made of frogs' legs."

Jón Fairbairn
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